It is hard to believe that this story, and all the details surrounding our amazing journey of how God chose to complete our family through adoption, actually happened. At times we feel like we are in a dream and are sure to wake up. But we know it's all real and we are enjoying our living proof of God’s faithfulness with our sweet baby girl, Kinsey Joy. Shortly after we began the home study process for our adoption in June 2015, I bought a pink journal (for no other reason than the verse…seriously thought we would have a third boy as we had no gender preference) with the following verse inscribed on the outer cover: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11). I clung to God’s promises in these words that continually spoke hope into my heart, following a grueling six years of unsuccessful infertility treatments, deep depression and relational struggles. When I got the journal home I wrote the following on the inside cover page: “To our baby ~ With Love: Mommy, Daddy, Anthony & Wesley ~ June 2015." I had planned to write about the process along the way, but as we would come to realize, there wasn’t much to write about to our baby in the waiting. The waiting for us was relatively quiet. Our profile had been shown maybe a half dozen times with no matches in 13 months. While we began the process full of excitement, energy, and hope, God dug up a LOT of dirt and mess in our lives six months in. We found ourselves experiencing personal and marital struggles that just about broke us, simultaneously facing unexpected job and life changes that left us wondering and asking, “Why is this happening and how are we going to get through this?” We fought our way through some really tough stuff and now know that God had to till up what wasn’t the way He needed it to be for Kinsey to join our family. Our marriage is now the strongest it’s ever been. I left teaching to pursue part-time ministry work in November 2016. And we have learned to place our comfort and security in God’s hands. In making all these changes and putting in the work to grow as individuals, a couple, and as a family, I shared that I had a strong sense that by trusting Him even when it didn’t make sense, He would reveal His faithfulness. And just a few weeks afterwards, He did. Our unexplainable joy, the kind you read and sing about, came (with a significant mix of stress and fear of course)! After we got our call, I began writing the story our daughter would one day treasure. Here are just a few excerpts from our journey of bringing Kinsey Joy home.
December 6, 2016
Our minds are blown and our hearts are full. What God first began in our hearts in May 2015 is now becoming a reality. We got “our call” from our adoption counselor while I was driving your brothers to karate tonight, explaining that your birth mother had chosen us to be your parents. Amidst the shock and shaking, I was immediately filled with love and excitement for the news of your impending February 18th arrival, and even more shocked to learn you are a girl. To say we are overwhelmed is an understatement. We have been waiting officially for 13 months now, but the unofficial time and desire to bring you into our family began more than nine years ago. It was when Wesley was one and a half and Anthony was four, that we began to try to have another baby. Never did we plan or imagine our dream becoming a reality would come nearly a decade later. We have learned and grown so much in our faith and trust in God through the journey, and you truly are a miracle. We tried and sought fertility treatments from 2006-2012 before resolving to accept that we were going to move forward as a family of four. After time, counseling, and healing of the lost dreams, God put uncertainty back on my heart. And because I had learned to lean into Him instead of my own will and plan, I began praying for clear answers as to whether we were meant to be done in 2014. Jump ahead a year later and as we approached Mother’s Day 2015, a new answer from God came to both your daddy and me on this day. "You aren’t done and your family isn’t complete, but this time it’s my way!" God put adoption on both of our hearts knowing we couldn’t handle all that came with infertility treatments. And He had also put many people in our path to help us navigate the trying journey of adoption. So it’s been a long road but God worked in even the smallest details. We began the process of home study in June 2015, completed it on November 5, 2015 and have waited for only His perfect timing with excited anticipation! And now we are awaiting your arrival and praying every day for the woman who is loving and caring for you until your birth. So many questions, and can’t wait to see and hold you.
January 2, 2017
It has been a month since “our call” and it is now less than seven weeks away from your due date. We have so many anxious and excited friends who can’t wait to meet you. In the meantime, we appreciate their prayers and support for the process to go smoothly and for your Cesarean birth to go well for you and your birth mom. We celebrated a wonderful Christmas at home, and away with our Weaver family in Georgia. You will love it there and we are happy to share it with you in years to come. Everyone is so curious and thrilled to add you to our family. This journey of adoption is not for the weak or faint heart. We went in knowing very little, but understanding the whole process was completely out of our hands. And every bit of that is true. We first told your brothers our intentions while vacationing in AMI in July 2015. They both shouted for joy and to this day claim that vacation as being their favorite. They have loved you before we even knew you were on the way, as have we. We were told your birth mom chose us to be your forever family because she knew you would be well cared and provided for in a way she wasn’t able to. She also really wanted you to grow up with siblings, and Anthony and Wesley can’t wait to meet you and share our home and life. We love your birth mom for loving you and making such a sacrificial and difficult decision out of love. Continuing to pray for you both.
January 21, 2017
Sweet baby girl, we pray for you and your birth mom every day. Just a week ago, we shared dinner and conversation with her. It was the most amazing and surreal experience we have ever had. On route to dinner we saw the most beautiful rainbow, which felt like an assurance from God in our nervousness for the meeting. She is beautiful, sweet and kind and we tried to memorize every detail and began to dream about what you will look like. And oh my, we met you while still growing in her healthy, round pregnant belly. All nerves were hushed once we hugged and sat for dinner. We felt like we were in a bubble and despite the magnitude behind our meeting, it all felt surprisingly comfortable. Seeing and hearing her heart and looking into her tear-filled eyes...it was immediately and overwhelmingly obvious how much love was between her and us. To say we love and admire her is an understatement. She is giving us, by the grace of God, you. Something we have longed for a very long time. We can’t wait to meet you and love you already.
January 26, 2017
The closer we get to your arrival (less than 23 days now) I feel every emotion magnified - excitement, panic and fear. Aside from the verse on this journal, I have been rereading other quotes and verses and want to share them so you will know how much hope and encouragement they provided throughout the process during times of doubt, fear and uncertainty.
~“The Lord will make it happen.” (Isaiah 60:22)
~You are the person God is preparing as the answer to someone else’s prayers.
~Have faith that everything will work out exactly how God planned it to be.
~God’s provision awaits your preparation.
~Pray, wait, trust.
~”Great is your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:23)
~Everything about the adoption process is hard except loving the child.
~Faith in God includes faith in His timing.
~”You keep me in perfect peace as I trust in you!” (Isaiah 26:3)
~”God has more in store for you than you ever imagined.” (Ephesians 3:20)
~“He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted.” (Job 5:9)
~If you saw the blessing that was coming you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting.
~”I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born.” (Isaiah 66:9)
These are only a few, but I want you to know how much God loves us and how faithful He is. I love you sweet baby.
February 2, 2017
You are absolutely perfect and beautiful! Just got our very first look at you in a picture by text. We love you so much and are all OVERJOYED that you have arrived. We are still waiting to meet you. Our counselor called last night and told me to sit down. She said, “Your baby girl was born last night! Congratulations!" I was shaking and elated with excitement, tears, and questions for details that she didn’t yet have. We did learn you were born three weeks early by emergency Cesarean and they were still waiting for news as to when we can meet you. Only your brothers were home and what a memorable moment. We called Daddy on speaker and he was surprised and so excited! So many tears of joy and just can’t wait to meet you, hold you and love you!
February 24, 2017
Fast forward three weeks and you are now home after a three week stay in the NICU to manage eating and weight gain issues. Once again, not what we expected, but it provided an amazing time of bonding with you that we might not have had at home. Your birth date is January 30, 2017 and you weighed 5.1 lbs and were 16 inches. The emergency delivery was life-threatening and it is a miracle that you and your birth mom survived. God is good! We couldn’t believe that we had to wait again. It was a grueling three day wait to meet you from the first picture we received. Despite the anxiety and nervousness, we continued to pray and trusted that God was in it all. On February 3 at 3:30 pm, we got word that papers were signed and we could finally come and meet you. It was another surreal time spent with your birth mom. Walking into the room we saw her cuddling and kissing on you and were overwhelmed by the love in the room. After a brief greeting, she kissed your head, held you up, and asked if we wanted to hold our baby. Amazing. She, too, commented on how beautiful and perfect you are and how grateful she was that we were taking you into our family. And we are forever thankful for her and her decision.
When we began our journey to grow our family over nine years ago, never would we have imagined what was ahead of us - the time, pain, disappointment, sadness, growth, changes and increase in faith. But I can say that the moment we first met and held our baby girl, all of that seemed to disappear and put more joy in our hearts and family than we could have possibly imagined. And as a continual reminder, this truth hangs above Kinsey’s bed.
Kami's greatest joy comes from being a mom and raising the three children God gifted her and her husband. She loves God and people and lives to encourage and help make life easier for those around her. If she could be paid to provide encouragement as a professional card/letter writer she would. Kami is a list maker and task master (her husband and family may refer to her as The General). She wakes early and crashes hard at night. Aside from time with her children, she always makes time to run, read and dig deep into His word, journal, pray and spend time with close friends and family. She loves and lives with her whole heart.