Wow! Ask me to write a blog and the lies start flying through my head!
"You can't write."
"You have nothing worth writing about."
"You can't write about turning a lie into truth."
"You clearly have not mastered that!!"
"Your writing is too simple."
All of those thoughts have been swirling through my head for the past couple of days. I volunteered to write this blog about replacing the lies with truth and the difference it makes. But every time I started to write or even put my thoughts together, those thoughts became louder and louder, causing me to doubt myself. I was having a hard time replacing those lies with the truth and living in that truth.
As I was sharing my frustrations with a friend, she began to speak some affirmations that really helped me see myself in a different light. "You are enough. You are more than enough, actually. You are incredible!!! You are a Masterpiece even when you don't feel like one! You are perfectly imperfect and you are so not alone."
How hard it was to accept and own this truth - that I am enough! The belief that I lack in some way or that I'm not enough is one of those lies that haunts me the most because it crosses into so many different areas of my life. I am constantly having to remind myself that this negative thought is in fact, a lie. When I get stuck in that lie, I am lost to all that God is doing in me and through me.
Last night I was definitely lost in the "not enough." My husband had been away on travel and was coming home, and our house looked like I sat in front of the T.V. and ate bon-bons the whole time he was gone. I was disappointed with myself that he was not walking into a clean, uncluttered home. But the reality was that I had spent the better part of both days doing exactly what God wanted me to do. One morning, I got to help some fabulous ladies at a homeless shelter as they loved on the children who live there. The other I spent baking and making dinner for two mommies who have their plates full caring for their own families. The truth was that I did not fail in fulfilling His purpose and plan for my days. I provided more than enough to those women and families in need, and there is such peace when I rest in that.
This replacing the lies with the truth does not come easy to me. In fact, it takes a lot of focus and attention for me. I've spent years criticizing pretty much every aspect of myself so much that I don't even recognize I am doing it. But I believe in the importance of doing the work of living loved. So I've decided to give myself as many visual reminders of the truth as I can. Recently, I spent time creating a painting of God's message for me. I hung it in my kitchen because I often feel the "not enough" the most in that space. It is a constant reminder to pay attention and focus on the truth. I am ENOUGH!
What about you? Do you find yourself believing the lies? How do you remind yourself of the truth?
April is known as the "Baby Whisperer" because she is ALWAYS holding somebody's little one. She loves babies, but more than that, she finds God in caring for others. Not so long ago, it was she who needed the gift of another's arms to hold a tiny one that she might find rest, and now she loves to give that gift to other new moms. April also finds Him through fellowship with others. Talking about God, reading his Word, and praying with others helps her to experience Him more fully. Walking through this life with God and the people He has surrounded her with makes all the difference in the world.